I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
