Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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