i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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