Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I had to cum in my sink.
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