you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
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I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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