Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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