i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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