it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
