my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
