I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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