my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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