in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Bring me that man meat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
