It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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