Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
