I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
