did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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