I just threw up on my dentist
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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