It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
