I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
