Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
