i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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