she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
