it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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