I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
