I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize