adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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