she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
