i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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