don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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