Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Success! We fucked roommates!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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