Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
