Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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