just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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