I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
