fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
