Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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