Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize