halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
