please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
