i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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