I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
