I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
zippers are such a cool invention
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
