she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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