You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
