she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
