I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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