He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
