If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize