He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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