Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize