happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
