thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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