You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
