i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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