grandma shit on top of the toilet
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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