Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
