Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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