the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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