Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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