My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
