So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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