he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
