I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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