so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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