yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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